I had one of those light bulb moments last week. One of those moments where someone says something that really gets you thinking.
I‘d been out cycling with a friend and we got chatting about my cycling, and the triathlon camp I attended in Lanzorote. She then said to me, “you came back changed, you weren’t any fitter but you were prepared to work much harder”.
I went to Lanzorote in March this year having been talked into it by Henny, a good pirate friend. I was really worried about the ability of others and whether I could keep up. My worst fears were confirmed, I was by far the worst cyclist there. I had to work hard, really hard just to stay at the back. I knew my cycling had improved when I returned but I wasn’t really sure why.
That comment played on my mind over last week. I began to realise how much negative crap I was feeding my brain – I am a cr@p cyclist, I’m really slow, I can’t do hills. I also realised that I had settled into my comfort zone around this and given up trying. Whenever someone shot up a hill, I would sit back, go slow ….and think I’m a cr@p cyclist, I can’t do hills. I wasn’t getting any better, in fact I think for a long time my cycling actually got worse.
So when I got back from Lanzorote the difference was I had learnt to work harder. All good, but my mind hadn’t changed. I still do nothing but talk negative when it comes to cycling…..not anymore!
So what was the light bulb moment? Its was simple really, its was the realization that I will never be the cyclist that I want to be……but I can get better. “strive for progress not perfection”.
I’m embarrassed that it’s taken me three years to realise this, especially as this last two weeks I have watched many paralympians achieve amazing things. It was like I was having a massive sulk….I ‘m no good so I’m not going to try.
So I’m not a cr@p cyclist. I’m not as fast as I would like, but who cares…I can still improve.